Father's Day E-Mail From Bethany's Uncle

Hey Clark - I just wanted to share with you a couple of thoughts I had when praying this morning for you and your family. I began reflecting on Bethany and what she meant to you as her dad. I know this feeling by the way my daughter feels about me, looks at me, and loves me. I know that you must feel so empty sometimes because Bethany came from you; now a portion of you is dead. I must be hard. To this day, I can’t imagine the way you must feel. It compels me to want to wrap my arms around you now and tell you once again how much I love you. More than that, I want to whisper in your ear, letting the words sink down into your soul, reminding you that God’s love and grace is endless, without boundaries, and can use your emptiness in ways that seem unimaginable now.
I began to think about Bethany’s last hours. But I was reminded how God does not know time the way I do. Time is not relevant to God, what matters most to God is relationship. There is no doubt in my mind that you can live with the hope of seeing Bethany again. I understand this hope because I have been the recipient of so much grace from God myself. I was, and am, so undeserving of forgiveness. I have screwed up so badly in my life. I may not have acted out in my loneliest of days the same as Bethany, but rest assured, I was self-destructive. Even in the midst of all that, God loved me, and somehow I loved God - there was a true and genuine relationship. If my brief time here on this earth suddenly evaporated during those lost and lonely days, I don’t think, for one moment, that God would have somehow abandoned me and forgotten about my sincere desire to be God’s child. In fact, I believe the closest Bethany ever came to resting completely in the presence of God was in those final moments where she breathed her last breath. I say this with all humbleness, yet confidence, because of all the times I cried out to God for mercy, compassion, forgiveness, and grace. God was there, even before I uttered my words, even before I thought to ask for mercy, yes, even in all of my anger and frustration. For me, the essence of who God is rests in my own weakness and fallibility. For in my weakness, God is made strong. And it is upon that same boundless mercy which leads me to believe, with confidence, that Bethany is with her Maker... waiting... waiting for her earthly daddy to come join her one day.